


This is Us, Right?

by L_R_Walsh



Series: New Leaves, Ever Turning [1]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, I just what them to be ok y'all, Reconciliation, Working to be a better partner, post TLOU2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25588135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_R_Walsh/pseuds/L_R_Walsh
Summary: Ellie finds a familiar book while traveling back to Jackson that makes her feel closer to Dina and hopefully helps her on her way to repairing what she broke by leaving.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Series: New Leaves, Ever Turning [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856464
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	This is Us, Right?

Sitting, dazed, with tears streaming down her face, Ellie was both lost and found. Finding and ending Abby had been her drive and purpose for the last few months, thinking little of anything else, losing herself in that quest. God she had lost so much for this, and it wasn’t even worth it was it? She still wasn’t sure. Why couldn’t she have realized this back on the farm? But coming to Santa Barbara, facing Abby, she finally found herself again. A part of her she thought was gone forever. Ellie finally felt like she could move forward, out of the darkness of the night in the mansion. 

Rising from the seawater, feeling renewed, but exhausted, Ellie wandered the city of Santa Barbara aimlessly, lost in thought over what the hell she was supposed to do next. Her first thought was Dina and JJ. How the hell was she going to fix that? Was that even a possibility anymore? 

Ellie walked the city streets, lucky to not run into any trouble. She stopped at a small market in a shopping center in town to make camp for the night, making sure it was clear before barricading the exits. Inspecting her temporary home, Ellie discovered a gap in one of the walls. The wall had crumbled, exposing pipes, electrical wires and wooden studs, and it looked like it opened into the bookstore next door. 

Stepping through the gap, mindful not to accidentally hit her side, Ellie looked around the bookstore and saw a rainbow flag on the wall, similar to the ones Dina and Ellie found in Seattle. Browsing the shelves for supplies, a book made her stop in her tracks. Reaching out to pick up the book, _Sorority Secrets_ , Ellie's thoughts jumped to Dina. She had been curious about the book, enough to take it while Ellie wasn’t looking. Ellie felt guilty for not showing as much interest in the book at the time, especially considering that Dina felt she needed to hide it from Ellie. Putting the book in her bag, she continued through the shop. A few rows down, she found some medical supplies, a knife and a self help book on relationships, _Working It Out_. It might as well have been on a pedestal under a spotlight. Dina always believed in luck and Ellie considered this one hell of a lucky sign that she needed to get her shit together in order to get back together with Dina. Ellie grabbed that book like her life depended on it. 

Grabbing a few other books to start a fire with, Ellie made her way back over to the market. While mostly ransacked, Ellie was able to find a few canned goods, some sausages and a black beans. Manna from heaven if you asked her. 

Starting a fire and prepping dinner, Ellie set about cleaning her wounds. The cut on her side had opened up again and needed stitching and her finger stumps were still a bloody mess. Taking the alcohol, she hissed in pain as she cleaned her side and disinfected the sewing needle and started to stitch herself up, and moved on to disinfecting her fingers. The stump's wounds needed to be cauterized to prevent any infection, even after using the alcohol. She stuck the knife in the flames before gritting her teeth and pressing the red hot blade to the ends of her finger stumps. With her injuries taken care of, she tucked into her meal of sausage and beans. 

Over the next few days, Ellie laid low in the market, resting up and planning her journey back to Jackson. She plans on following the coast north to avoid getting lost in the Nevada desserts without reliable water sources. It’s a longer route, but a safer one, not having to worry about supplies. 

~

The trip to Santa Barbara from Jackson had taken only a month, but the trip back was taking more than twice as long. With her side wound being slow to heal, Ellie couldn’t cover as much ground as she’d like. 

On quiet nights on her hike back to Jackson, she reads over the two books she picked up from the bookstore. The self help book turned out to be more of a workbook, including exercises to be done by yourself and some with a partner. Ellie starts working on a few of the ones on improving her communication skills and working through arguments. She hopes Dina and her can do a few of these together. 

Ellie pours over _Sorority Secrets_ , studies it, and tries to imagine what Dina thought while reading, what she saw in these characters that she saw reflected in her and Ellie. The book itself is an interesting read, one of the sorority sisters has an affair with the campus Romeo, Jason, and becomes pregnant and has to handle the pressures of pledging and morning sickness. Ellie can see why Dina would find this relatable, even if she still has no clue what a sorority is. But which character did she see as Ellie? 

There’s one character, Malena, a character who knows what she wants and has the strength and resolve to make it happen. 

Is that how Dina sees her? She wishes she had lived up to it, maybe she still can? The hope of that is the only thing keeping her going right now as she pushes to Jackson. 

~

Ellie decided to head to Jackson first, Dina would likely be there, hopefully. Jesse’s mom, Robin, was always looking out for her and JJ, surely if Dina’s anywhere it’ll be with her. 

No amount of preparation would be enough to prepare her for arriving at Jackson’s gates. Her heart rate was through the roof as she approached, going over and over again on what to say to Dina, Maria and Tommy when she arrived. Ellie wasn’t sure which conversation she feared the most. 

Luck seemed to be on her side, at least for now, as one of the guards recognized her, and called for someone to get Maria. 

Ellie audibly gulped while the gates opened and she stepped through. 

Ellie was ushered in to the clinic not far from the gates. Maria met her there shortly after with a hug. 

“We thought you were lost for good” Maria said taking a long look at Ellie, surveying her injuries. 

“I told y’all I didn’t plan on dying! Have a little faith!”

Maria levels her with a hard look “you better have a better attitude when you go talk to your girl, that won’t fly with her” 

“I don’t think I can call her my girl these days, Maria…so, they are back in Jackson?” Ellie asks with hopeful trepidation. 

"Yes, they came back shortly after you left for California. Running a farm alone with a small child is impossible work” 

A silence settles between them. Guilt weighs heavily on Ellie. Maria looks at Ellie with a question in her eyes.

“I…couldn’t finish it. I found her, but let her go. I had her, but I thought of Joel. This whole crusade was to avenge his death, but I don’t think he’d want me following in his footsteps” Ellie says, answering the unspoken question. 

“Do you regret it, would you change anything?” Maria asks.

“I don’t know, probably not” 

“Well, by the time it takes you to walk to her house you better have a straight answer. She’s staying with Jesse’s folks these days. You should pay her a visit when you’re ready.”

“Yeah, she should hear that I’m back from me before she hears it from someone else” Ellie replies before walking out of the clinic. 

~

She walks the streets heading to Robin’s house with her worn copy of _Sorority Secrets_ in her hand. Ellie’s beyond nervous and just needs something for her hands to hold to keep them from shaking. They shake anyway. 

Ellie must’ve stood in front of Robin’s house for at least a few hours, or was it minutes? Her nerves must be messing with her. Eventually she gathers enough courage to walk up the porch steps and knock firmly on the door, holding her breath waiting for an answer. 

Dina answers the door and stills when she sees Ellie. They stare at each other silently for several long, painful moments, neither believing they’re there in front of one another. Dina slowly shuts the door behind her and steps out onto the porch. Ellie is wracking her brain for something to say, but she’s coming up blank as she looks into Dina’s eyes, she can’t decipher what she sees in them. 

Dina reached out to caress Ellie’s cheek, still with a look of awe, a look like she’s seeing a ghost and can hardly believe her eyes. 

Ellie presses the book in her hands towards Dina “This is still us, right?” Ellie’s says with trepidation. 

Dina takes the book, sees the worn cover and peeling spine, and recognizes it as the book she found in the shop in Seattle. 

“That hasn’t been us in a long time Ellie” Dina replies, now giving Ellie a hard stare. 

Ellie looks down dejected, lip trembling. 

“But I’d like it to be” Dina says with a small smile now on her face. 

Ellie’s eye snap up from their spot on the ground to look at Dina with a hopeful smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this! let me know what you think!


End file.
